Back to Center, New Moon in Leo while Venus is in Retrograde Feels
That has been the overarching message received this new moon.
I've had family over, which has always meant for me a hiding of multiple parts of myself- parts that I now realize have become crucial to my well being. This basically means that I've rather regressed in my healing in over-dramatic form in the space of a week. Modes of healing I'd ingrained as habit were out of safety and necessity's sake avoided and left untapped, in big and small ways.
The freedom of going to the river to (visibly) hang with Oshun, call on my Warriors, wear my Ilekes, work Tarot, meditate with crystals, etc is taken from me, or rather I allow it to be taken from me for these safety and necessary reasons. Knowing how ingrained to self and spirit these things are, I then feel guilty for not being bold enough to be fully myself which more or less taps into the low mood swing.
A week of this and I now realize that not only did I stop doing the very visible things, I subconsciously stopped doing the little things I could probably get away with without much mention like making myself herbal tea with intention, burning sage and incense, taking clearing and bringing baths, wearing my crystals. That's the thing about subduing yourself, you don't even realize what else you repress.
I just lit a candle for Yemaya, lit some rosemary incense, and drank some tea:- ginger, rosemary, dandelion root, just a bit of hibiscus, with lemon&honey- charged with intention to clear and release (you should try this if you need some release). As soon as I finished my tea I felt immediately centered, aware of myself again, in touch with the pieces I missed all week. Even with family here, the space feels like mine again.
A lesson learned in returning to myself even when it feels impossible. We always have means to regain our power, in small ways that can feel as vital as the very big ways we put a lot of stock in. This new moon calls for us to return to self- particularly in the light of love and forgiveness as Leo calls us back to our own power.