Trying to keep the promise I made to myself to allow this blog to hold space for everyday personal reflection as much as the big ideas. It's the truest form of this space- I started tarot blogging as a way to maintain a tarot journal and spill out my thoughts.
If you've got me on your RSS feed, I hope you don't mind that I'll be doing more personal readings as much as the general content for Asali Earthwork. Thank you for holding space with me, I appreciate you.
Yesterday was tough, and so was the day before. I spent the night before that in tears, then drunk, then sick. Needless to say, it was a very unproductive Monday in a week that requires me to be so much more than that.
I eventually came out of the funk (kinda), drank some apology veggie juice and managed to keep down some food. Naturally, I did feel better (seriously, if you are feeling low do check on whether or not you've been drinking water and eating if possible) so I reached for my cards, avoiding the tarot, and opting for the Vessel Oracle and the Extraordinary Oracle.
I was still pretty raw so I needed some gentle messages rather than a slap upside the head. I also wasn't particularly interested in card positions. This was mostly about taking the temperature around me and seeking some immediate guidance and reflection.
By necessity, my heart and spirit require the most attention right now, and by all means I should attend to them. However, there is a message here about not neglecting the realities around me.
In fact, it is that I should use the magic I gather around myself to give me the energy required to push through obligations. In this way, both parts of my life feel sustaining without leaving me feeling bogged down and suffocated.
One of the realities is that self-care isn't always cute and fluffy. Today it looked like forcing myself out of bed and to a yoga class despite how uninterested I was with the world. It meant making green juice when I got back and eating something, even a light snack, despite the nausea and stomach pain I'd been fighting for a few days. Self-care is facing the to-do list, making your bed, decluttering, showering, cleaning up, and facing reality. Shit ain't always cute, but I do consistently feel better afterwards, mind and spirit.
Now if I could just go to sleep...
In the meantime, I'll just repeat this beautiful affirmation Chani had for us Libras this week:
I use Sunday’s new moon to remember that I don’t owe anyone anything. Not my healing. Not my happiness. Not my redemption story. I was not put here to be a source of entertainment or inspiration for anyone. I am more than the story that I’ve lived...
I use Sunday’s new moon to remember that I am allowed to be human. Flawed. Floundering. Finding beauty in the most unlikely of places. Meaning in the mess. Healing when I haven’t any hope left...
I use Sunday’s new moon to remember to challenge myself to go further. Not beyond my reach, but beyond my fear. Beyond the mental limitations that I’ve gotten used to. Beyond the excuses that I’ve let become an authority on my abilities.
-Chani Nicholas (complete post here)
Here's to a better Tuesday!